Rejection of Feelings

I'm teaching my son that it's okay to feel all of his feelings. That we as humans get to experience a vast array of emotions. We label them as "good" or "bad" but they are neither. They are just feelings. All they want is to be acknowledged and felt. And when we hold space to feel, they move through us like passing clouds... and all is well. 

Part of the human experience is to feel. So let the feels feel. No need to hold on, maintain, sustain or repress or deny. I share with him that many people have problems when they reject their feelings: Their human experience. And he doesn't need to do that. 

Crying is not weak. Crying is simply a release of emotions. A purge. We cry when we are sad, we cry when we are happy. We cry when we are in pain, we cry when we are enraged. We cry when we are afraid. We cry when we are overjoyed, overwhelmed, ecstatic, moved, inspired. It's okay to cry. It's part of the human experience. And he is a beautiful human.

Inspired Women Inspire Women

Attending your ex-husband and girlfriend's baby shower is not the easiest decision to make. Pride and ego kicks in. We tell ourselves, it's fair to feel hurt: resentment, anger, shame. It's too weird to go and a thousand other victim stories and outdated beliefs that serve nothing but the ego. But when we as women choose to be the kind of woman who shows up for other women, we break the cycles of our ancestors and create new (healthier) patterns for ourselves and a new freedom for our descendants. It's a win-win for all. And I'm so honored to show up and support Dionna Chambers who graciously helps raise and shape my son's future. I'm grateful for this opportunity to give (and show) my ex and his girlfriend my blessings. I'm proud to be a woman who lifts other women up. And I get to be the type of woman who inspires me. In this action, in this choice, I get to to live an inspired life and be the kind of woman I've always wanted to be. And last but not least, I get to set myself and her free. 

As a product of your childhood - You are a HUGE success!

Maybe you were exposed to toxic substances from within utero.
Or raised by one parent, a grandparent, a sibling, a group home or an orphanage.
Maybe you have no place to call home.

Maybe you experienced sexual abuse, rape, molestation; mental, emotional, psychological,
physical abuse growing up… Maybe you still do.

Maybe you were sick as a child or broke bones or went under countless surgeries.
Maybe you were bullied a lot and cried yourself to sleep or wet the bed consistently, plagued by fears and nightmares. Maybe you were afraid of the dark. Maybe, you have to sleep with the light on, radio on, TV on, clothes on. Maybe you’re afraid to be alone. Maybe your family fought all the time, or judged, blamed, criticized you. Ignored, abandoned, neglected, rejected you.

Maybe they were silent. Maybe you raised yourself. Maybe you hate yourself.

Maybe you were around abusive relationships and have attempted to end your life. Or have lost loved ones along the way, and live in devastation from a broken heart. Maybe your father wasn’t around or your mother was ill. Maybe you were the parent of the household.

Maybe you have self medicated, feeling like life didn’t matter,
that YOU don’t matter… Maybe in your eyes, you don’t have the perfect face, perfect body,
perfect soul. Maybe you have lost a limb or two, or one or two of your senses… Maybe in your mind, you don’t have the perfect partner, home, job, career, family, health, life. Maybe you feel far from perfect. And maybe you’re convinced you’ll never be happy or deserve a good life. Maybe you’re filthy rich because of this, or dirt poor because of it. Maybe money was used against you as a child. Maybe money was evil, or it was more important than you.

Maybe life seems like a long punishing road and you can’t shake off
your past – condemned to/controlled by your demons/memories… Maybe you feel you have no one to love or that no one loves you. Maybe you feel; misunderstood. Maybe you eat to fill an empty void. Or starve. Maybe you feel you have a lot of issues, too many to count… Maybe you’re incarcerated. Institutionalized. Maybe you’re depressed, manic, bi-polar, abusive, vengeful or full of rage. Maybe it’s difficult to be a human, life is hard, life is a struggle. Maybe there’s no hope… Maybe you have too many fears, too many phobias, too many things, not enough things, too many questions, not enough answers, too many voices, too much confusion, too much noise. And maybe… you are terminally ill. Maybe you think life is about punishment and suffering…

Maybe you were taught that.
Maybe your mother didn’t tell you “I love you.” Or “You are so special.” Maybe there was a war…

If you have experienced or suffered or survived any of this, all of this,
and you are still breathing: you are miracle. Yes, you.
You are: a miracle. And as a product of your childhood: you are a success.

“Despite everything that has happened: I survived, therefor:
As a PRODUCT of my childhood, I am a HUGE success.”